Confessions of a first time mom

I never talk about myself on here. I mean I talk about Jackson and our adventures, but not about just me. And sometimes I think that if I say something out loud, even if no one reads this, that it might help me work through things. When I became a mother, I realized my days of being able to get things done was over. Honestly though, I didn't really care. Or I guess it never mattered as much as me being a good mom, and taking care of Jackson. I still make lists and I still work my butt off at everything I do, but it's not the same. I can't get the dishes and the laundry done in one sitting. And even if I could get it done it The house will never entirely be clean anymore. Even if I tried my hardest to make it super clean, Jax would just come behind me and wreck it. I worry every day that the house isn't clean enough, Jackson isn't played with as much, gourmet meals consist of adding hot dogs to mac n' cheese, and the laundry is not ironed and hung in the closet where it should be.

After pregnancy, my body looked completely different. I was happy (mostly) with my body before pregnancy and when everything didn't roll off within a couple months, I was a little mad. But I had a newborn baby, and how i looked didn't matter, it was just a reminder of everything I went through to get him here. And when it still wasn't gone after a year I was slightly disappointed in myself, or whatever I'd done to get me to the place I am now.
Danny's side of the family is doing a fitness challenge. Which is nice, since it coincides with aforementioned weight I want to loose. It's nice that most of the things are pretty easy to accomplish. What doesn't help is my sister came to visit and we've been treating ourselves to a sweet here and there, since she doesn't get to come often. So there go my points for this week!! Anita, if your reading this, know that I am still trying my best. It's really just that since my sister is here, I get a chance to do things I wouldn't normally do.
I'm not doing the challenge to compete against someone in any way. I could really care less about that. It's really just a way for me to get motivated and to have someone I can talk to who is doing exactly what I am:) So watch out Crews family...(I don't really have a comeback, so we'll just leave it as that).


Oh, and that's my awesome sissy Jenna:)